touch_black

bamboozle

Wed, 10 May 2006 23:35:06 GMT

i went on sunday and it was a lot of fun. i had to drive all the way down to middletown to pick up rachel before we got there. i ran into maggie while i was shitfaced with rachel and we all hung out for most of the day.. atleast what i can remember. i was supposed to meet up with kyle and other friends but no ones phones were working and stuff so that never worked out but i ran into so many people anyway so it was awesome. crazyyy day. & i got sunburned :-[

my thoughts on bamboozle 06

before i start, did anyone noticed that the main stage sounded worse than the others? hmm anyway. afi was definitely the highlight of the day. i have never seen them before and it was just an amazing experience. in my opinon, they should have been the last band to play.. not taking back sunday, who sucked ass. other than afi, 30 seconds to mars put on the best show. underoath was pretty awesome till they spoiled it by saying religious stuff that no one cares about before they went of stage. other great shows included chiodos, from autumn to ashes, poison the well, fall of troy, everytime i die, circa survive, alexisonfire and others.

yay free motivation !

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 01:11:00 GMT

we had 2 motivational speakers come to school today and talk to us about stuff that i didnt understand. we had a half day and then i went home and did college stuff.

i got in trouble for plagierizing (cant spell) in creative writing yesterday . me and kraivenger used some weird british website with a forum of short stories and passed them off as our own. we are royally fucked though. i now have a 60% in the class which means i need an 85% to pass or whatever and i have a letter going to my parents now which means im like dead. what a way to end senior year of high school. failing 3 subjects for bullshit reasons and being rejected from colleges left and right. i guess thats what i deserve for having pneumonia when i took the SAT's right? i guess it could be worse.

the good news of the past month would be me and joe winning tickets to see children of bodom, through the eyes of the dead and chimaira at starland ballroom over spring break from SOU pirate radio. that was pretty sickkk.

but anyway, the requiescats now have a drummer but we havent practiced yet. my lowrider is finally almost rideable (pic up on myspace) and im gonna prob get a haircut in the next month. uhmmm what else ohh yeah my weekend,

pretty uneventful . saw v for vendetta with gabrielle and liana saturday and visited centenary college which sucked. i hate it there. i got rejected from monmouth last week what the fuck? thats fucking bullshit. and montclair sent me a letter today claiming they never receieved my SAT scores so they cant process my application and now its too late cause they've admitted the maximum amount of students or whatever. its kinda funny how i paid 30 bucks to have them sent to msu way back in january and they do this. what a fucking waste of money and time. they were sent but apparently they didnt get them? i paid for this? haha yeah okay fuck them anyway. im prob gonna end up going to u of pittsburgh or kean. st peters is a last resort but i dont wanna go there cause it sucks. yeahh thats about all there is to say

later

okayy soo...

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 05:50:34 GMT

i never use this anymore and its most likely going to stay that way unless i get bored randomly or something. i realized that all i did was bitch and moan and people would always ask me if i was okay or depressed or whatever. what they failed to realize was that i simply used this site to vent to myself and i never really cared who would read it.

but anyway, the last time i posted here was around my birthday. nothing much has changed to be honest. i have a new myspace cause my old onde was hacked into and i was forced to delete it. oh well i dont really care i was thinking of not even making a new one, but then i realized why not i mean what the hell its just a site that, no, i am not obsessed with unline everyone else.

i still havent gotten my basic license yet, yepp thats how lazy i am. school is uhmm school. its just there. i dont really think to much about it, i just do it. college? again not much to say other than im waiting to here from a few and i will most likely attend either monmouth or montclair state next year. my mom wants me to go to fairleigh dickinson, ha! fuck that shit. although i do have to go to this gayy open house there tomorrow which i really dont wanna go to. cause im learning disabled, i have to take a special placement exam thats four hours long... insane if you ask me. but thats just how it is.

love life? pretty much non existant and its probably going to stay that way for quite some time... whether i like it or not :-/

soo anywho that just about sums up the past couple of months. good night all ! <3

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 22:52:33 GMT

my 18th birthday is friday, yahoo! who wants to give me birthday presents??! wo0t

empty

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 06:31:30 GMT

so this past week has been the worst of the school year and quite possibly the entire year. i can honestly say that not one thing has gone right for me during these days. i just dont give a shit about school or family or anything anymore. im failing 3 subjects, i got a 1410 on my SATs the SECOND time, i got my rejection letter from scranton this morning, i never do homework anymore, i never pass tests, my essays are crap... the list goes on. what the fuck is wrong with me? is this the famed senioritis or what? all i know is something better change for the better or im going nowhere in the future.

my parents are grounding me for my poor performance in pretty much everything lately. my dad and my sister wont even fucking be here for christmas, they are going to ireland and im stuck with my mom and it really sucks. i have a journalism exam on my birthday next month so i cant even get my basic license, instead i get to take a midterm! yay. my truck is on its deathbed, 93000 miles and its just about to die. got it back from the shop today and he said it might be time to get a new used car or something. as if i have the money for a car, i dont even have a fucking job. my sister has a job and she did better on her psats than i did on my sats. shes not failing anything, shes spoiled by my parents, shes not going through any of the shit that im going through. i envy her sometimes. i know i shouldnt but i do.

it just seems that the things that used to matter the most to me dont matter at all anymore. school would always come first, family would always be there in support, my friends would too. i realized something today on the train home from hanging out with maggie in new york, life really sucks. the people you love will turn against you in time, some of your friends will change and never turn back, parents are out there to get you, they "only want whats best," i think they only want to look like good parents so they die knowing they did the right thing. i want to be happy again. the last time i was happy was during the summer. sure i may FEEL happy but that in my opinion does not qualify as actually BEING truly happy. its funny how there are people out there who love you to death and you dont feel the same way, but there are people out there who you love but they dont even know you exist. you think your happy and you think your in love, but that is just a mere feeling. you want to feel that love but sometimes its just not there. sometimes you hate someone so much that it just overrides the feelings you once had for that person. people suck. end of story. i have my close friends and thats all i need. they will always come first no matter what.

and another thing, im sick and tired of people calling me a man whore and a myspace whore and all this bullshit. who gives you the right to talk to me that way? first of all, its not even true, i am not a whore in either regard. myspace is a website that some people are pathetic enough to become addicted to (im not one of them, ive had it since before it was cool and im not obsessed or anything) so get over it. man whore? hmm yeah avoiding random hook ups sure is the best way to get ass, dont you think?? if everyone was like me and didnt hook up with people he or she didnt like then, wow there would be a lot of whores out there!! ;-). that makes sense.

im done dating for a while. im sick of the drama, im sick of the bullshit, im sick of the lies and im sick of love. i obviously dont mean enough to you, do i? what is my problem anyway id love to know...

i still love you anyway

thanksgiving and stuff

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 19:44:02 GMT

i just woke up sick as fuck.. this sucks cause id rather be sick during school. oh well. so im not doing anything for thanksgiving just sleeping i guess.

bad religion was amazing

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 06:00:29 GMT

awesome concert at starland tonight with paul ward. ive always liked bad religion but never really appreciated them as much before i saw them live... they are better than ever. anti flag opened up for them and it was fucking insane. wow i got my ass kicked but it was worth it. anyway yeah later

my final thoughts

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 22:20:39 GMT

high school relationship? please dont make me laugh. this just in: WE ARE STILL IN FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. maybe you should have thought before you deleted all my friends and acted like a complete bitch to them. ill take my best friends before any girl, any day. bros before hoes as i like to put it. i dont appreciate your father treating me like crap either, and you have to admit, he really did. but thats a completely different issue all together. you think i dont know what love is? love is what is going to plague me for the rest of my life. its how i feel about you no matter what happens. and it sucks. did i ever mean what i said? you better believe it. i meant every last word and then some. love you or loose you? no im sorry but i dont like being ordered around like that. you do that pretty well might i add. no body tells me what to do. if i want a break im taking a fucking break. leaving me during that break was your choice. not mine. and i think ill take this time to correct your entry. you have a few errors that bother me and i want to fix them... "No, everything doesn't happen for a reason.
No, there are no relationships that "just don't work", even though the people love each other."

yes everything DOES happen for a reason and yes there are relationships that just dont work. you can love someone and not be able to live with them. its that simple. so anyway, leaving me during this break was your choice. i cant handle your pathetic drama anymore, im sorry. high school relationship my ass. we were so above that its not even funny, and you know what? we always will be. i dont care what you have in response to this but, I love you Lindsay, with all my heart. i will love you till the day i day and whatever after. you are my soulmate, my only reason to live, we were made for each other. and i still cant live without you. im sorry if i cant handle a relationship at this time. im sorry if "just friends" isnt good enough for you. i hope you know that you will never leave my thoughts and prayers. they never have since the first day i layed eyes on you. the moment i met you at your school changed my life forever. it was love at first sight. you are my only true love... i will never feel the same passion and feelings for anyone else i meet in my life and i fucking guarantee it.

"And what bothers me most, is you'll always have me.

And you don't even appreciate it."

my response to this is, what bothers me the most is the fact that you'll never know how much you mean to me. you never have and never will. and yes i do appreciate it, very much so. now ill close this pathetic arguement with the poem i wrote to you while crying in my bed longing for your love which i will never physically feel again. i wrote this the day after we broke up. maybe it will make you believe that you are my only one, no matter what happens in either of our lives.

Alone

"Purity once had a name,
And beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
And once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
And once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
And once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once I was by her side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
Her grace so great,
Her beauty so vast,
All I ever wanted,
Was for it to last."

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:43:20 GMT

blah . terrible weekend. the ruckus show was last night and of course that sucked cause lindsay cant be in the same room as any of my friends or shit happens as always. so that was a nightmare. ive tried everything to make it work and nothing ever does work. what more am i supposed to do? i felt bad for insulting her rotten excuse for a father and "ignoring" her last night so we planned to go into the city today and i was going to treat her. turns out she had to go dress shopping for that assholes wedding and couldnt see me. what it wise to tell me 12:30 that day? of course not, in fact it was the opposite. my mom flipped out cause she get money for me to go cause im broke (of course i was going to pay her back) and she was late for work and missed her lunch hour cause of me. it wasnt my fault, lindsay didnt fucking tell me till soo late anyway, what else is new? now both my parents hate me cause they take each others sides in shit naturally. so whatever they can go fuck off. so anyway we were going to see a movie tonight and then it hit me, what the fuck was i thinking? why should i agree to this? she got me in huge trouble (as gay as that was) and ditched our plans. this is not the first time this has happened. she expects me to be perfectly ok with this? thats bullshit. so i made other plans and of course, when she hears this, she flips out. so we fought and stuff and all that shit. then she came over and i could barely speak. i just cant handle it anymore. i tried as best as i can and i cant handle a relationship with her. i do love her, i really do. but i cant handle being with her. unless there were drastic changes, it cant continue. and it wont cause that will never happen. my friends mean a lot to me. i cant handle the shit that goes on with them and her. its bullshit and i dont deserve it. why am i wasting my/our time? same with her parents. well her dad. hes such a fucking douchebag. it humors me how dumb he is. he writes down my license plate number cause he sees my truck in the parking lot thinking i snuck in and asks her if it was mine. we said yea and he believed us. what a dumb ass. and not just that, but he has to learn some fucking manners. and not everything can go his way. maybe thats why hes still a failure at his seasoned age. her friends are fucked up too. well not really but the situation is. like i said in previous entries, i cant talk to marisa cause shes better looking than her other friends and she thinks i like her. give me a break i wouldnt waste my time. trust is important. we dont have this and never did. i think this statement speaks for itself. i cant take it anymore and i wont. thats all i have to say on the matter.

soo me and ashlee hung out tonight. it was awesome cause i havent seen her before this weekend since warped tour. and i saw her twice :-). it was fun but i got lost both on the way and on the way back lol. good times though. i hope we can hang out more often...

i havent been in school since last wednesday...

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 21:19:14 GMT

arent i cool? you know it. anywho yeah so i feel like shit and i dont care enough about school so i havent gone in a while. soo thursday i stayed home and did nothing. friday i did nothing and went to the mall with kate to by the mest cd i wanted for a while. we saw this old asian lady get arrested for stealing a dvd! it was awesome. honestly is harry potter really worth it? when we were leaving we saw her in the back of the cop car and laughed. it made my day. then we got lost in union and cranford and passed the high school i took the SATs at and it made me sad. then i went home and called breana cause everyone else was sleeping and i couldnt. i didnt go to sleep till 2 am cause i kept having nightmares, oh well :-(. sooo i the SATs were saturday morning and i have no comment on them. they sucked and they pissed me off end of story.

after the SATs i finally got to see lindsay after a week (it felt like much longer). we hung out at her dads house and then went to show at hamilton. i havent been there since we were together last april. its changed a lot but whatever i never really liked it that much anyway. some of the bands were pretty good but it wasnt my cup of tea lol. people saw me there but didnt say hi cause they suck. i didnt really care anyway cause the only one i was paying attention to was lindsay. then we went home and explored madison and chatham before going home. we passed my grandmas old house and it made me sad (like a lot of stuff does). it was nice to spend so much time with her saturday though. i showed her the pants man movie and she liked it thank god. it came out pretty awesome, i need to get more copies!!!!!

soo anyway sunday i basically just slept and sat around. i was in a bad mood all day and idk why. i guess school or whatever. i didnt go to scranton cause i was too tired from the SATs. me and lindsay hung out for a little bit. i wish we could go back to that bench in the park tonight and watch the sunset like we did last night :-(.

today i stayed home from school and worked on some homework. it was boring then i went to sleep, then picked up my dad at the airport. my neighor in ireland was robbed by the IRA and almost bled to death. its fucking scary over there right now. im almost glad im in jersey haha. the worst part of today came when i was picking up my sister. it was bad enough i couldnt see lindsay this morning when i dropped claire off but claire didnt get out till 3:20 today so i didnt see linds after school either. to make matters worse, i ran out of gas on route 22 and had to get my shit truck towed. i have the worst luck ever. now im short $450. how awesome. i hate money sometimes. i dont really care though, its just a fucking truck. i wont even be able to drive in college, which makes me wonder why people look forward to going to college so much... you cant even own a fucking car. how gay is that. your stuck in and around campus all the time. what fun! yet another reason to loathe college apps. anywho im done. people still dont know that my phone died and im using my dads till i get a new one on christmas. my number is 908 656 3930 its not that hard to remember, jesus christ. later

my new shoes came, yay!

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 04:33:51 GMT

soo october is over and its pretty safe to say it was the best month of my life for the most part... if you dont count school and other crappy not fun things. so like wtf is wrong with my work ethic? there is none, really. i just dont care about school and college. that doesnt mean i dont do whats necessary to get by, cause i do. but like, deep inside i just dont care at all. college isnt for a year. i could honestly care less about apps and SATs (which i have to take saturday) and other shit. its just not a big deal to me, is this normal? im such a lazy slackass its pathetic. but ANYWHO. wow this week has really sucked so far. last weekend was amazing but now its just all fucked up. today was soooo long i didnt get home till like 8:30 cause of random mom and sister shit. i do so much for my family and they just dont seem to care. i dont have a job and i dont get money from them other than school $. should i? oh well whatever. im too busy for a job i could never be on time when i had to be. i know i need one and eventually i will get one like i used to this time last year.

ive noticed recently that ive really changed as a person lately, especially in the past year. its def a good thing. i mean i was always a happy normal guy but i guess ive grown up or something. i just feel different when i wake up each morning and begin the daily grind. im just as lazy as ever, so its not that but idk whatever it is, its a good thing. senior year has gone pretty much as expected so far. i knew it was gonna be tough, and believe me it is. balancing my social life with my school life is really a challenge and i need to learn to balance my time and focus more on academics when i need to. the marking period ends thursday and i get my report cards soon. i hope my grades are good, they are decent so far i hope i can keep it up. if i actually cared about school im pretty sure id be a genius.

soo the SATs are saturday. ive taken them already but i did so bad i cant just not try again. im never gonna get into the schools im applying to with a 1340 and a 2.9 GPA seriously. i gotta get on top of this shit. the u of scranton open house is this sunday and my mom is dragging me to it. it is going to suck cause i know exactly what to expect and im only going to see the campus. every open house/tour is the same. it gets boring and quite monotonous. friday is gonna suck cause i have the SATs the next day and ill be freaking out all day. hopefully i can see lindsay? not likely but that would be a great help. i get to see her saturday though so im super pumped wo0t! ive never listened to the honorary title before but they are playing hamilton and we are going. blah gothic lit late work is due tomorrow and im not doing it. big mistake? YES. oh well i dont care ill make it up in the second marking period. anywayy

i was picking my sister up from school today and as i was pulling away, it was dark enough to see inside the windows cause obviously the lights were on. i saw the stage and floor that the mount coffee house was held at last january. that was an amazing night for me. it was the first time i laid eyes on lindsay (well i knew of her before but still). when i approached her, our eyes just met each other in this way i cant explain. it was amazing. we ditched that and went to a show at hamilton that night, i remember seeing rich auth and bettinger was with us too. those were the days. the next day we went to the village and stuff. it was fun, we got to spend so much time together and i really got close to her that weekend... it was love at first sight. soo today is our first month and it seriously cant be a better day of the year. the 1st is def the best, you know it. i am SO happy that she randomly showed up at my house that night. before then i hadnt seen her since june when we went bowling with her weird friend. hanging out with her that night just made up for not seeing her all summer and it felt like we never actually broke up (in reality we never should have, but thats a different story). yesterday i couldnt stop thinking of her, i always think about her but yesterday was different. she just wouldnt leave my thoughts. i wrote her name over everything and i even wrote her a gay crappy poem. i hope she liked it, im sure she did. i typed it in a myspace comment cause thats what it began as lol. i hate poetry but that kind of shit i can belt out in seconds, idk why. its about waking up with her one morning, i think i talked about it in a previous entry too actually. anyway, here it is...

Whispers

As I lie here in your sleeping arms
No words spoken
No sound made
Just lying here with you says enough

With my arms around you
Your breath whispering across my face
So warm
Yet so cooling

Your comfort and
Your love surround me
You mean so much to me
I've never felt love so strong

I love looking into your heavenly eyes and gazing upon your angelic face
It fills me up inside
With emotions too great to express

I want to give you my all
Everything I have inside
How can I prove my love to you
Words just aren't enough

The stillness breaks
Your body awakes
You turn over towards me
Your eyes open

They look into mine
They make me glad to be alive
To breathe the same air as you
To touch you

Your soft lips meet mine
They whisper words I could live forever in
"I love you"
My heart melts

I return your kiss
And the words you speak
I return your love
And all that you've given to me

I love you, my sleeping baby.

yeahhh i can be quite the romantic when i think about lindsay. i love her so much. anyway thats all i gotta say i better get some sleep i always lack that. later

I was bored

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 17:52:55 GMT

1.) Confirm your identity: uh ok?
2.) How many years have you been on the planet? 17.
3.) What are three phrases you use at least daily? fuck you fuck you and fuck you
4.) Are you a survey addict? not atoll
5.) Do you have an online journal that you use regularly? im using it right now
6.) Are you one of those people that are constantly applying lotion and/or chapstick? no
7.) Name any mental disorders you have been diagnosed with: uh learning disability? does that count idk
8.) Ever freeze anyone's underwear?: dont think so
9.) Name one thing you only do/act like/wear/etc. because someone else thinks you should: i only act, do like whatever i like. fuck everyone else
10.) Would you consider yourself random?: yeah
11.) Do you have clothes hanging in your closet that still have the tags on them?: no i wear my clothes like a normal person
12.) Do you doodle all over your papers/homework?: no i keep my shit neat like you should
13.) Do you write down phone messages/notes on your hands?: maybe
14.) What do you think of those Kidz Bop commercials?: i honestly dont even know what the fuck your talking about
15.) What CDs in your collection are you ashamed to admit you own?: ashamed? hmmm im gonna have to go with gwen stefani
16.) Got any toe socks?: uh no
17.) Do you find that you rub off on your friends more, or vice versa?: no idea
18.) What time is it?: 12:38 pm.
19.) Does anybody really know what time it is?: yeah
20.) Does anybody really care?: i do
21.) Who sings that song, anyway?: ?
22.) Do you untie your shoelaces before taking them off?: no
23.) Ever have random hallucinations?: no
24.) Ever take your pet for a walk?: my dog everyday
25.) Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry?: yeah
26.) How much do you sleep?: not enough.
27.) Do you think staying at home and raising the kids is primarily "women's work"?: not really
28.) What do you think about gay marriage?: no opinion
29.) Do blondes annoy you in general?: no?
30.) Ever done illegal drugs?: uh
31.) Do you smoke?: no
34.) Compete with your siblings?: no
35.) Think you got enough love as a child?: sure
36.) Listen to pop music?: on occasion
37.) Out of your own, what's your favorite lotion/ body wash/ cream/ perfume/ cologne/ etc. scent?: axe
38.) Why do fools fall in love?: cause they are stupid and dont know what true love really is
39.) Why is the sky blue?: The refraction of the sun's rays into the Earth's multilayer atmosphere registers in human eyes as the color blue.
40.) Did you know that your metabolism slows down at night: yup
41.) Are you going to have an open casket funeral?: idk
42.) Do you bruise easily?: i dont bruise unless galo or javier punches me
43.) Does death fascinate you?: nah
44.) Ever dated someone five years older (or more) than you?: five years? no
45.) Ever dated someone five years younger (or more) than you? haha noo
46.) What's with all the black rappers right now having such terrible teeth?: all tha blizzay rappa have bad teeth cuz they dont know how ta takes care of themselves cuz they makes crappy music n live wasteful lives n tizzle like ta have shiny baller n gold teeth ta makes themselves look more stupid than they already is
47.) What was the whole "rosebud" thing all about?: idk
48.) How many people do you think would come to your funeral?: idk
49.) Are you wondering why I'm still on the death thing?: i guess
50.) Who said this: "Death, taxes, and childbirth. There's never a convenient time for any of them.": i could really care less
51.) Have you ever contributed to someone's death?: no
52.) What Hollywood celebrity annoys you the most?: paris hilton
53.) What do you think about school?: could be better but its school. what do you expect?
54.) Are you addicted to the internet?: no i have a life most of the time
55.) Do you have those little white vitamin deficiency marks on your fingernails?: no
56.) Dog person or cat person?: both
57.) What do you take when you have a headache?: sleep
58.) What's your alcoholic drink of choice?: jack d
59.) Is "settling down" a major priority for you (meaning; married, good job, spending your extra money on new curtains and mowing the lawn on weekends)?: no
60.) Do you have a calendar/datebook?: no
61.) Was "Beaches" as good a movie as everyone says it is?: idk.
62.) Physically, are you usually cold or warm?: im fine
63.) Socially, are you usually cold or warm?: uh ok?
64.) Ever been so depressed that you don't shower, do the dishes, clean up anything, answer your phone or move from your couch for more than a couple days?: maybe
66.) Do you ever walk by someone and they go, "how are you?" and you go, "how are you?": yeah
67.) Wouldn't you rather we all just avoid eye contact and not say anything at all?: what would that accomplish?
68.) Ever do volunteer work?: no
69.) Do you think community service should really be given as a punishment for criminals?: i guess
70.) Do you shoplift?: no
71.) Ever worked so hard that you cried?: idk
72.) What if God was one of us?: cool
73.) Who sings that song? idk
74.) Are you old enough to remember the commercial with little old lady saying "where's the beef?": yeah
75.) Finish this sentence: "My kingdom for a/an ________.": cool
76.) Do you remember the Care Bear craze?: no
77.) How about when Oprah was fat?: yeah
78.) Remember Pogs?: no
79.) Remember when that gymnast sprained her ankle in the summer Olympics, 1996?: i guess
80.) Remember what you were doing yesterday at this time?: uhmm i was in the shower i think
81.) Do you love shoes?: i have quite a few pairs
82.) What shampoo do you use?: whatevers in the shower
83.) How do you feel right now?: not great but i had an awesome weekend.
84.) Do you let dogs lick your face?: yup
85.) Do you subscribe to Playgirl or Playboy?: no
86.) What are you doing right now besides filling out this survey?: on the phone listening to my mom bitch and moan
87.) What year were you born?: 1988.
88.) Do you rule that year?: no
89.) Do you paint your nails?: no
90.) What's your hair length?: its there
91.) When did you get a cut/trim last?: cut last may. trim last july
92.) Do you have hoity-toity relatives, or trailer trash relatives?: idk
93.) Would you consider yourself to have an innovative mind?: idk
94.) Has an old man/woman ever flirted with you?: no
95.) Ever written a survey like this?: yeah
96.) Would you ever consider dating someone who'd been in prison?: idk
97.) Are you worth crying over?: maybe
98.) Do you know anyone who's drowned?: idk
99.) Would you rather have a one-on-one conversation or go to a party?: one on one
100.) Do you feel better after purging all this random information from your system?: nah im just bored i dont really care about what surveys have to say.

Question

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 22:03:45 GMT

would you fuck a chick with a dick? after a heated debate at lunch the other day, i must say its not my cup of tea.. although tully seems intrigued by the idea. anywho what are your thoughts?

Its been a while

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 00:57:56 GMT

so i decided to update this. not much really going on. school, friends, family, life, love. all that good stuff. i have to see saw 2 this weekend, like you have no idea. i need to see that movie. so the past 2 weeks have been pretty fucked up. so much shit to deal with but w.e its cool. im still happy having a pretty decent senior year. i got my college essays done and my recommendations are being done too. i just havent started the paperwork and to be honest, i dont really care. it doesnt appeal to me. i dont want to grow up :-/.

so anywho im going to a halloween party with lindsay tomorrow as spaulding from the blink 182 video for first date, aka mark hoppus. i realized its been done but now its too late, i dont care enough to change my costume haha. it should be fun, im excited. anywho thats about all there is to say. later

Words Can't Explain How Happy I Am...

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 06:25:46 GMT

This past week has literally been the greatest week of my entire life. having JUG (detention) twice a day didnt even matter to me. nothing can stop me from being this happy.. I don't think ive ever been this happy for so long and its really beyond amazing. like the title says, words cant even begin to describe my feelings right now. and to be honest, i dont even need to bother wasting my time trying to describe them so im not going to. they only matter to one person, my babbyy. lindsay i love you so much, but you knew that already lol. i cant wait till i can see you again which will hopefully be tomorrow. i dont know why im talking to you on this you prob havent logged on in like a month lol. but anyway i just wanted to make it public... again, that i love you <3

and guess what? no school till thursday bitches. im taking off tuesday so i can have a 5 day weekend and spend more time with my girlfriend. ANYWHO im gonna go sleep or something its like 2:30 am lol. i cant sleep tonight so im watching anchorman!! wo0t!! later

I will always remember this day!

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 18:44:17 GMT

October 1, 2005.

i love you <3

soo what else is new

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 02:10:42 GMT

you're a fucking douchebag. maybe you wouldnt put me down so much if you werent so worried about our own social status. just grow up seriously its really getting fucking annoying. there so much i could say but why even bother? your not even mature enough to handle a serious conversation about it or anything else for that matter.

anyway i had like the worst day ever today wo0o0t! i can barely walk cause some stupid freshman stepped on my foot walking up the stairs and twisted the shit out of it. it hurts like hell god dammit. im def not doing gym tomorrow you'll find me in the nurses office. anywho i managed to go the whole night without doing any homework which is always fun and the number of times ive been used/rejected has increased as well. but w.e i better read or something to make it look like i actually care about school. later

The first week went by so fast

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 21:18:44 GMT

I cant believe first week of senior year is over already. everything is happening so fast and before you know it, the year will be over. to sum up this week, its been OK at best. i really wasnt great and if it was any other year it would be have sucked pretty bad. i got so many detentions (JUG) for stuff i dont care enough to explain and ive failed every quiz so far. i also have 3 essays due tomorrow cause i had a physical thursday and missed half my classes. i really hate mr morris's class. his stutter annoys the crap out of me and he sucks at teaching. like really bad. im doing terrible already cause i think i got on his bad side (he has a pretty big one apparently). journalism is starting to piss me off too. we meet 3 days a cycle but for an hour instead of 40 minutes. we loose half our lunch time and its just mad boring. so we have an essay due tomorrow and we had to do interviews cause its more along the lines of an article or w.e. i didnt do any so i hope i dont fail lol. ill just make shit up or whatever. so im really liking computers and gothic literature. the other classes are ok but these 2 are really interesting. it makes me wish i read the summer reading haha. web design is fun, im designing a site about BLINK 182! yahoo its awesome. ive learned so much about html and its only been a week. too bad ms glazers a fat sack of shit and she got me and jeffrey in trouble cause she thought we were talking or something.

so anyway im feeling really sick lately, and i think everyone is. it must be a cold or something. i think i got it from the crazy rain we had last week idk. it sucks and i almost missed school this morning. i drive now so i have to get up early before the fucking 4 mile back up hits the turnpike. i might actually go to the football game this friday (i never go to games). im feelings weird cause for once i actually want to. so much exciting things happening lately im actually happy yayhoo for me. ive been getting over my girl problems of the past and moving on to better things. i shouldnt have made myself so depressed cause im really not like that. im not as emo as people might think. im actually very happy most of the time but in the past couple weeks/months i was really upset. i still sorta am but for now im just enjoying life as best as i can. there are plenty of fish in the sea and im pretty sure i will find the right girl soon. anywho i better get working on my hw. comment my new myspace pic bitches! later

school and such

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 23:38:17 GMT

sucks ass. i got 5 detentions on the 2nd days (JUGS). im already fucking up in classes and stuff but w.e i dont care. i have a physical tomorrow yahoo! or not.. i hate those lol. i get out at lunch though so thats cool. ahh im soo tired. im gonna take a nap, later

I Hate My Life :-)

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 17:03:06 GMT

school started yesterday and it was mighty boring yet fun at times. i like all my classes which has never happened before. this time i am actually interested in them and im not taking any math science or language. its awesome.

so these are my classes.

computers - fucking weird teacher and she is really old and fat but the class is fun and me and jeffrey ruben will make it interesting. why are there so many juniors in this class?? and it sucks cause we're taking web page design first semester and then basic. its backwards! and that annoys me. but all in all a good class.

journalism - seems like an average english class but its still pretty cool.

gothic lit - awesome

criminal justice - good but i think we're gonna have a lot of work

us history 2 - nothing special

i think im forgetting a class but im half asleep so whatever.

anywho i hung out with danielle last night and something tells me i will never see her again. a lot of shit happened (like with everyone i meet) and we are just friends if even that right now. she doesnt want me anymore cause of a lot of things and it sucks but i can always think of this as a typical rejection. it happens everytime. i become interested in someone and we start to like each other then it all stops out of nowhere. it fucking sucks and im sick of crying. i think im grounded cause of all the "driving" i did last night. thats what started the fight. and theres so much shit going on. like people stealing my stuff and not giving stuff back. assholes. hmm yea lets steal pats cd and hold it hostage till he does everything we want him to do, then MAYBE we'll think about giving it back. i dont even know why he has it in the first place its not his fucking cd. i bought it 3 years ago and i believe buying and listening to and keeping a cd in my possesion means its mine right? whatever. when i get that cd back which i will do really soon it better not be dirty destroyed or damamged in any way or i will do the same thing to ur shit. lets not forget u left 4 cds in my car and i gave them back as soon as i could. whos the bigger person here? this is so fucking immature. i guess giving people rides and doing stuff for no reason isnt good enough for some people. yea i make mistakes we all do. the point is i realized i did and i was sorry. i would make it up but NO. it doesnt work that way in my case. hmm grudges are always fun!! yay. i just wish i knew why people that "hate" me so much want me to drive them in the first place. ohh yeah to use me. how could i forget that. people suck.

Fuck School

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 04:50:55 GMT

god dammit summer is over i hate this. everyones like so excited to be seniors. i dont really give a shit. we are still gonna do just as shitty as before, who the fuck cares. school always sucked and it always will suck. end of story. ANYWHO we have orientation tomorrow and then classes friday how awesome eh? im so fuckin not ready for school. oh well. wish me luck. later

so

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 21:03:21 GMT

the beach was boring and i got a bad burn and it wont stop itching. it was ok though and i going back tonight cause we arent leaving till saturday and i only came home for the green day concert that i didnt even want to go to. long story but i fucked things up once i again (i guess?). i invited jeff and danielle to the show and later planned to take jones. turned out thayt danielle couldnt go unless her friend who i never even met before went with her. ordinarily i would say fuck u get your own ticket but i didnt want to be an asshole cause our moms got involved and all this shit. it got really out of hand and eventually i almost decided not to go. but now jones is pissed at me for obvious reasons and stuff. i offered to pay for another ticket but since it wouldnt be with us that would be fucked up. so i didnt know what to do and it didnt help being all the way down in cape may during this too. i feel really bad. i had to drive so much last night it sucked. i didnt even like the show, we missed jimmy eat world and against me! and green day was just what i expected. all they did was bullshit and play the new cd which i dont like at all. its so overrated. but anywho the only good thing about the show was bringing danielle. im so glad she could come and i ended up not regretting going. she lives in bayonne near jeff and it worked out that way. she didnt like tintle though cause he was annoying her haha. but yeah it was really fun with her and i think i have feelings for her but i wont say anymore other than we are hanging out again on sunday! im really happy now :-)

going down the shore

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:39:23 GMT

gone for a week in stone harbor. its gonna be madd boring i dont wanna go. im like not in the mood to drive 3 hours to cape may by myself (we need 2 cars to fit everything). im fucking lazy. anywho ive gotten over some shit and im happy now about stuff. me and maggie are friends again and im glad. shes awesome and i would hate myself forever if i lost her friendship. we are going to the catch 22 show on the 10th or w.e. should be kick ass. and me and jamie cant hang out till the 16th cause shes going down to florida. i cant wait to see her though, im so excited :-). so yeah i gtg im leaving now just thought id type some stuff. call me please i have no internet. later

What the Crap!!!???

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 21:41:46 GMT

Homeroom 4F – Mr Klarmann
Semester 1

1 – Gothic Lit – Klarmann
2 – FREE
3 – US History 2 – Collins
4 – Criminal Justice - Verdi
5A – LUNCH
5B – Journalism – Horan
6 – Computer 3 – Glazer
7 – Psychology/Religion – Morris

Semester 2

1 – Gothic Lit – Klarmann
2 – Computer 1 – Glazer
3 – US History 2 – Collins
4 – Irish History – McCabe
5A – LUNCH
5B – Creative Writing – Fr Raulli
6 – Church History – McCarthy
7 – FREE

I think that’s right, not sure though. If anyone has classes with me holler!

This is the best fucking story ive ever told in my life!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:40:28 GMT

everyones been telling me to explain this crazy story about my day at warped tour so i will right now. the plan was to drive jones and tintle from short hills mall to warped tour. i told my mom about this while she was in south carolina and she was cool with that. then i told my dad and he said i can drive my moms car cause my truck didnt pass inspection lol. so the morning of the show i wake up at 6:30 and get ready to drive to short hills to pick up jones and tit fuck. when i was going out the door my dad stopped me and told me i cant drive to the show because he didnt want me driving my moms car after accidently breaking the battery cover at tintles show while helping jeff rubin. so we get into a heated arguement and about it cause he told me the day before that i could drive it. and guess he changed his mind? idk. so after an hour of arguing they show up at my house and start calling me and knocking on the door. my dad said "we are not opening that door until we figure something out." so eventually around i think 8:30 after like a half hour my dad goes downstairs and opens the door and fucking told them i was sleeping. i was like wtf i was awake since 6:30. we go to tintles car and he tells mr tintle that we have to drive to the shop to get my truck or else we cant go. in the heat of the situation i forgot my ticket lol and we went back. thats when the fun starts. i go back inside to get directions (which i thought they had for some stupid reason) and my ticket. i try once more to convince my dad to let me drive moms car. that doesnt work so i storm out of the house, slam the door, and flip him off and walk to the car. he chases me like a maniac and threatens to kill me or w.e which im used to after all these years and then he slams kierans car door. assuming he was drunk or something i laugh it off until i see him pick up a flower pot and throw it the length of or front lawn almost making it to the road. one piece almost hits the car and if we didnt drive away it def would have. i was fucking pissed cause my dad just humiliated himself and then got my mom involved. she called me and grounded me from fucking south carolina. why? well her reason was that i lied to my dad. i didnt lie. i told him the day before but he just forgot cause hes a fucking douchebag. so now im not allowed to drive anymore and im grounded till whenever. when we get to the show it was hot as hell and the traffic was terrible. i lost my chain on my belt cause they didnt let me wear it. fucking assholes that costed 17 dollars. we watched some crappy bands and bought 4 dollar gatorade and stuff. eventually we run into ashlee lying under the bleachers. she had sun poisoning so we made fun of her and took pics. then we wait a little longer and me and tintle go to see the offsprings show which was kick ass. this was nothing compared to the transplants though. we got like pretty much as close as possible (which was around 20 feet away) and i took some awesome pics and a video. everything was awesome about it. lars fredericksen of rancid was there too and i took some pics of him too. the best part and seeing travis barker and tim armstrong on the same stage. they are both like my heros and it was amazing. my fave song they played was apocalypse now and the cover of the clash's white riot. they didnt play DJ DJ whihc was surprising cause its one of their best songs. after that me and tintle bought hats like jeffs only ours had stripes on them. and then drove him. jones dad drove me to my house cause i was afraid to ask mine for a ride since he was on a rampage hours earlier lol. and thats my crazy story. hope u liked it haha. anywho now im bored in my house doing nothing but college shit. here are some pics...